Change of heart
by Natta
Summary: What would happen if the maquis ship wasn't destroyed, but Voyager was instead? This story isn't near finished though, but I've posted chapter 1-3. I write faster with feedback!
1. Change of heart

Change of heart  
  
Author: Natta  
  
Rating: PG Pairing: J/C mainly Disclaimer: I deny everything. Okay, Voyager belongs to Paramount, but Voyager is destroyed in my story! Ha! Gotcha! Summary: What would happen if Voyager were destroyed instead of the maquis ship? Author's note: Thanks to Carolyn who helped me with comment's about the story!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
She woke up to find herself in some kind of sickbay. She was not aboard Voyager though. The panic rose inside her and she struggled to sit up, but the pain shot like arrows through her body. Someone approached her and she tried to look less shattered and frightened. As he got closer, she recognised him as the tall, dark maquis captain. 'Have they decided to take us prisoners? Hopefully, I'm the only one. Please, God, let it be so.' 'Welcome back,' he said without any explanations. 'What's going on? What am I doing here?' Anybody could hear how she struggled to get control of herself - And failed. 'Voyager was destroyed by one of the kazon warships. We beamed you over here in the last minute.' She let her head fall back on the pillow, horror mixed with relief. 'So maybe they do not intend on taking us prisons. But then again, what do we do if they don't want us on their ship. He spoke again. 'I think you should rest some, you've got a bad concussion and some broken ribs.' He rose to leave. 'Wait. What about my crew?' He sat back down. 'I'm sorry.' She flinched. Everybody dead, except her. That wasn't possible! 'We only managed to beam about half the crew aboard before the crash. We did not have enough transporter power to beam everyone over at the same time. We tried, but only half the crew made it over.' 'Oh god. Half my crew dead, the rest stranded in the delta quadrant. On top of everything, we're also stranded on a maquis ship. Just great.' However, her sarcasm couldn't make her feelings go away. She felt tears filling her eyes, and an urge to vomit. She wasn't about to vomit or cry in front of this maquis leader, so she restrained herself. But he saw her tears, and suddenly there was something else in his eyes. Something caring and soothing. He leaned closer to her. 'Kathryn, I'm...' He was getting to her, and she hated him for it. 'I did not realise we were on a first name basis so that's "Captain" for you.' His eyes changed back to "maquis mode" again. 'You do not have a ship to captain, therefore you are no captain. I'll call you whatever I want, as long as you're on my ship!' With that he left. 'Maybe I should have been nicer to him. After all, he was just trying to help. I wonder which of the crewmembers survived and which of them...died.' She couldn't contain herself any longer. Tears fell freely down her cheeks and she felt like screaming out loud by fear, helplessness and anger toward the being that stranded them here. She cried until she passed out by the concussion.  
  
The next time she woke up, she decided to try to find members of her crew. The fear arose inside her again, she was afraid of who she'd find, or rather the ones she wouldn't find. When she went around the corner, she bumped into Tuvok.  
  
Relief washed over her. At least he wasn't one of the victims. 'Captain, I believe we are stuck in a rather...different situation here. Our ship, the only federation ships within 75000 light-years, have been destroyed, and we are stuck on a maquis ship. As I can see it, we have two options. Either we join the maquis, or we stay on a planet here in the delta quadrant. Maybe the ocampans would let us stay with them. 'I can't make that decision for the whole crew. Everybody must decide what he or she would like to do.' He turned to face her, a disturbed look on his face. 'May I remind you Captain, that joining the maquis would mean officially being a criminal, when and if we get home.' She sighed, still troubled by her headache and her sore bones. 'I know that Tuvok. However, staying on a planet would completely ruin our chances of ever getting home.' 'This mess is just growing bigger and bigger. I hope I don't look as bad as I feel.' 'Even if we choose to stay with them it's not sure they want us', she added. 'Though I'd say they could definitely use us.' He raised an eyebrow. 'Indeed.'  
  
After a while, they found the crew in a large room, some laying down, some talking to each other. They seemed to be relieved to see Kathryn and Tuvok arrive. Kathryn started to speak. 'How am I supposed to make my crew calm, when I'm feeling like a nervous wreck myself. I have to pretend like everything's under control.' 'I know you must be very confused, but I'll inform you about our situation. Voyager has been destroyed and we are aboard the maquis ship. Our options are to join the maquis or find a planet to settle down on. I want you to think this over very carefully. But I don't know whether they're willing to have us here or not. Right now I suggest you co-operate with them. There is no point in trying to escape from them. We have nowhere to go.' Everyone was quiet while she spoke, but she could see fear and helplessness grow in their eyes. When she stopped talking, it was awfully quiet for a few moments. 'Some of them are still so young, eager for a career in Starfleet. They've worked so hard for all this, and what do they get? They get stuck 75 years from home with only one options, one worse than the other. I have to stay strong, have to...' After a few awkward moments, people started to talk to each other. Tuvok turned to her. 'I would believe a lot of them would like to build a new life on a planet. Joining criminals and probably not getting home within their lifetime does not sound very tempting.' 'I know.' She noticed herself talking in a very weak voice.' But still, there are about 70 people and some should stay on the ship. What about you?' 'As a Vulcan, I have some opportunity to get home within my lifetime. However, joining the maquis is an illogical course of action. I think that I will follow you.' She smiled. 'I'm glad to hear that.'  
  
B'elanna Torres was furious. She could not understand that the captain actually considered to let Starfleet stay on Liberty. It was just so stupid! She had thought they'd dump them on some planet. Well, killing them would be better, but she didn't dare to suggest that. She didn't understand why they had helped the Voyager crew in the first place. She liked Chakotay, but he had always been to helpful. She had been in a bad mood all day, and it was getting worse. She just snorted when her friend Ricky Thoran asked her to join him and a few others for dinner. She made him upset and suddenly she felt guilty. It wasn't his fault after all. 'Ricky, wait!' He turned around. 'Look B'elanna, you don't have to come, it's okay.' 'No, but I'd like to. I'm sorry, just in a bad mood today.' He grinned. 'When are you not in a bad mood?' She punched his arm and followed him down the corridors. She felt better already.  
  
'Captain!' It was lieutenant Taia Stadis voice. 'Yes lieutenant, how can I help you?' 'Well, I was wondering. If we choose to stay, do you think they'll let us?' Kathryn Sighed. 'That's the billion dollar's question. I have no idea what they have in mind for us. Maybe they want to kill us, but in that case they probably wouldn't have saved us at all. I think they need us, but the question is whether they realise it or not.' 'I've spoken to a lot of people, and I think they'd like to stay. I'd like to. All my life has been preparing to get into space. Well, I've been on missions before, but I don't want to give it up now. It's...not tempting to settle down on an alien planet now.' Kathryn smiled. She had always liked lieutenant Stadi from the moment she first saw her. 'I'm glad to hear that. I'd like to stay too. It's funny though. My first command, and I'll either be put down on an alien planet or be degraded to cleaning plasma conduits.' They laughed but suddenly a man entered the room. Both of them quickly rose. 'Kathryn Janeway. The captain would like to speak to you. Please come with me.'  
  
Chapter 2  
  
When the former Captain stepped into his office, Chakotay had just finished reading a report from Laja Chrono, his transporter officer. He couldn't call her chief transporter officer, since she was the only one left. A lot of his crew had died under the kazon attack and the transfer to the delta quadrant. The fact of all those dead crewmembers had helped him making his decision about the Starfleet crew. He nodded to the guard to leave them alone. 'I have a decision regarding your crew, Kathryn. She shot him one of her famous deathglares, but it didn't seem to work on him. 'I've decided to let you stay. We had a lot of casualties, as did you but we could form our crews to be one.' He watched her and saw the pain in her eyes. 'Funny,' he thought ironically, 'I didn't know that Starfleet captains was allowed to have feelings' 'I can't make that decision for everyone in the crew. I won't order anyone to become maquis, though I think some would like to join you. He leaned over to her, feeling her hesitate before taking a step back. 'I see. What about you?' 'I think I might join you, though it'd feel a little odd. I mean, on my first mission as a captain, I probably is degraded to cleaning duty instead.' He searched her face for amusement, but she looked dead serious. 'What is she thinking? I certainly can't afford to have officers with her education and experience on cleaning duty.' 'Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to be first officer.' She flinched and he felt confused. She didn't exactly look like she was going to scream right out by joy. But this was probably a big surprise to her. 'Why?' 'I thought it would be easier to make our crews work together. Besides, I need you for other things than cleaning floors.' He grinned. She didn't return it. 'I don't know. Being first officer on the enemies ship somehow feels...unsettling.' He started to loose his patience with her. 'Well, it's either that or cleaning duty, so you'd better think fast.' 'Damn, why did I say that? If she doesn't want to be first officer now, I have to make her clean. I can't have her on cleaning duty. Hell, I can't have anyone on cleaning duty.'  
  
The guard followed her back to the "sickbay". Taia Stadi immediately acknowledged her. 'What did he say?' 'He offered us to stay and-' She shot Taia a look. 'You won't believe this one.' 'What?' 'He asked me to be first officer.' 'What, why?!?' 'He want's both crews to work efficiently together. If I'm first officer, it would probably be easier to integrate the crew from Voyager.' 'I guess he's right. What did you say?' 'I said I didn't know. Just didn't want him to think being his first officer is my biggest dream. I think I'll take it though.' 'I think you should. Maybe you could put some Starfleet in them.' 'Yea, right. Don't really think so, most of them probably hate Starfleet.' When Taia left, she sat down on the floor. 'Am I ever going to get home again? I just wish Mark won't give up on me. Well, he probably will after a while. Why does everything has to be so complicated? Can't it just be easy for a change?' She felt tears falling down her cheeks. She tried to wipe them away, but eventually, she let in to her emotions and cried.  
  
Chakotay couldn't understand why this woman had to be so stubborn. He offered her a dream role aboard his ship and she "didn't know"? What was the alternative? He shook his head and decided to go see some of his friends in the dining hall. A lot of people used to be there after duty. When he got down there, he saw some of his friend's, including B'elanna Torres, Ricky Thoran and Laja Chrono. Unfortunately, Seska was there too. He sighed. He had two options, either leave, or sit down anyway. He chose the latter. Though she was annoying in all her attempts to "win him back" it had been 13 months since they broke up. She should have learned that by now. When she him saw him, she gave him a seductive smile. 'Hello, Chakotay. Come, have a drink.' He sighed. 'I should have known. I wish she could stop that. Now that she have seen me, I guess I don't have a choice.' Suddenly the dining halls communication device beeped on the wall. He quickly answered. It was Chell, a rather annoying bolian. 'I have the Starfleet captain here, she'd like to speak to you immediately.' 'Thank you.' 'Saved by the bell. Well, I'd better go down there and save her, bolians can be very annoying. Once they've started talking, they never stop.' When he got there, Chell was indeed talking. Kathryn Janeway seemed to listen with about half an ear. 'Thanks Chell, I'll handle it from here.' 'Yes Captain. Aye Captain.' Chakotay made an inviting gesture toward his office and they stepped in. She addressed him. 'I've been thinking about your request.' 'And?' He didn't like when people didn't just say what they wanted. 'I accept. I've also prepared a list of the crewmembers who'd like to stay on the ship. Some of them would like to stay with the Ocampans. Do you think it would be possible to hail them?' 'Yes, I'll deal with that. Now, I have to decide about roommates. We share quarters two and two. A lot of people died, so they will be some rooms left.' 'What about yours?' He grinned. 'I don't have a roommate. Captains privilege. He thought he saw a smile tugging at her lips, but she suppressed it. 'Well, I'll work this out, call the Ocampans and let you know. Dismissed.' 'When do I start my new job?' 'As I said, I'll let you know. Dismissed.'  
  
'Chakotay!' It was B'elannas voice. B'elannas angry voice. He slowly turned around. He was tired. He wanted to go to his quarters. He wanted to sleep. He did not want to speak with an angry klingon. Well, half-klingon. 'What's wrong, B'elanna?' 'I'll tell you what's wrong. I've reviewed the roommate list. No way I'm sharing quarters with her. He sighed. 'You don't even know her.' She was almost shaking by anger. 'She's starfleet. I don't need to know her.' 'Well, you're sharing quarters with her whether you like it or not. Please, B'el. Give her a chance. She's going to be first officer too, so you'd better get used to the idea.' He left quickly, leaving a stunned B'elanna Torres. He decided to let the Starfleet crew start working tomorrow. He needed personnel, so they could as well settle into their new lives tonight. He hoped there would be no more trouble with roommates.  
  
Kathryn sat on the floor, thinking about nothing when he entered. 'I'm just here to tell you that you start working tomorrow. I take it you have read the roommate list. You can all go to your rooms now, there are maps on the walls, I'm sure you'll find them. For you who won't stay, you'll spend the night here and we'll beam you to the ocampans in the morning.' He started to get out, but Kathryn stopped him in the doorway. 'I don't think it's a very good idea for me to share rooms with B'elanna Torres. She doesn't seem to like me. He gave her a reassuring smile. 'Don't worry. Her motto is: I don't like you until you proved I should. Besides, you don't have a choice.' With that, he left.'  
  
Chapter 3  
  
B'elanna paced her quarters. It wouldn't work. This Kathryn Janeway would arrive anytime soon. She looked at the bed which had been empty since Mariah Shelby died. The doorbell rang. She went there to open it. It was Kathryn, dressed in a maquis outfit. 'It's getting late, maybe we should go to bed,' was the only thing B'elanna could think of to say. 'Yes, I think so too. It has been a long day.' She started to untie her tight bun. Her auburn mass of her cascaded freely down her back. B'elanna watched. It was just so unfair! B'elanna had always wanted hair like that, but hers just didn't go past her shoulders. Then Kathryn turned around and started to undress. B'elanna did the same. When they were ready, she turned off the lights without a word. Not because she was angry, her feelings had calmed down. It was more because she had nothing to say, and she was really tired. But after a few hours, she still wasn't asleep. She watched her new roommate who slept very quiet. 'Something positive. Mariah snored. Kathryn doesn't.' She flinched. Did she just call her roommate by her given name? She must be tired. But if they ever were going to be friends, she might have to start now. And they had to be friends. She couldn't share room with someone she disliked.  
  
When Kathryn woke up, the alarm wouldn't ring for about half an hour. She couldn't go back to sleep. 'Well, I might as well get up and familiarise myself with the ship. She put on her new outfit, and started to make a bun of her hair, when she heard a voice from behind. 'You don't have to do that here.' She quickly turned around. 'Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?' 'It's okay. But I don't think you should do that with your hair.' 'Then how should I have it?' 'Just let it out. No one in the maquis makes buns. I love your hair, Kathryn. But it's best when it's free from those restraints.' Kathryn was stunned. Had B'elanna Torres just given her a compliment and called her by her first name? Maybe miracles could still happen.  
  
When Taia Stadi got out of her quarters, she didn't know what to do. It would be a while until she went on duty. She decided to go talk to Kathryn. On the way there, she thought about their situation. She was disappointed. She went from piloting a wonderful starship, to be a no one among criminals. At least she could spend her day's on the bridge. What she did was not very important, she just monitored the ships systems. She didn't think the starfleet crew had the posts they deserved, except for Kathryn of course. The maquis still did all the important jobs. She didn't understand why she couldn't pilot the ship. There were three different pilots on the ship, all maquis. She snorted at the thought. She was better qualified than any of them. And, she added reluctantly, so was Tom Paris. But Captain Chakotay hated him, so he wasn't likely to get the job. Right now, he served as a medic. On top of all that, she went from having a nice quarters all to herself, to sharing one with Laja Chrono, a rather annoying K'tarian. Finally, she reached Kathryn's quarters and ringed the chime. The half klingon which name she couldn't remember opened. 'Sorry, I was looking for Kathryn Janeway?' 'Oh, you just missed her. She was going to take a walk around the ship.' Stadi nodded as the door closed in front of her. Take a walk. She could take one too. She was getting to the bridge soon anyway. When she started walking, she saw Kathryn studying one of the maps. Taia was surprised to see her hair down. She went over to say hello to her friend. 'Hi, I hardly recognised you with your hair down. What made you skip the bun?' Kathryn turned to her and smiled. 'Something B'elanna said. Apparently, no one in the maquis does that, so I'm trying to blend in.' 'Maybe I should loose mine too.' 'If you'd like to. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of buns.' Stadi loosened hers and let her dark hair fall back on her shoulders. Kathryn smiled. 'Come on, let's go to the bridge!' 


	2. The Date

The Date  
  
Summary: This is the sequel to "Change of heart" Voyager was destroyed in Caretaker, and some of the Starfleet crew have joined the maquis.  
  
Disclaimer: Paramount is stupid. I'm not. Paramount owns them. I don't. But I own Ricky Thoran and Laja Chrono. Paramount don't. hehe.  
  
Author's note: Thanks for the positive feedback I got for Change of heart!  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
After three months on The Liberty, the former starfleet crew felt comfortable being maquis. Some of them even thought they'd stay on the ship if they got home. The starfleet and maquis slowly became one crew. Captain Chakotay liked that, but he still preferred the company of his old friends. One thing was wrong, though. When he sat beside his first officer on the bridge, he couldn't concentrate. Of course, in battle or in a negotiation, he could focus his attention, but when there were nothing going on, he found himself looking at her. No, looking is not enough. He was staring. He felt drawn to her in a way. It wasn't anything special about her, she was smart, beautiful, and quick-witted, but nothing outstanding. He liked her company, but sometimes on the bridge she looked at him and seemed very uncomfortable. Then he knew he had been staring at her. He was happy she and B'Elanna had formed a great relationship. He had invited Kathryn to dinner tonight, and decided to tell her about his feelings. He hoped she'd understand.  
  
'So he invited you to dinner? After only three months? He must really like you! For me it took almost two years to get into that personal space of his! What are you going to wear? '  
  
Kathryn laughed at her friend's eagerness.  
  
'I'll wear my maquis outfit of course. Come on B'El, he probably want's to talk to me about work. A working dinner, ever heard of it?'  
  
'Hello? Look at the note here then. You see? Casual clothing. NO UNIFORMS, that means. Come on now, we've got to find you something to wear.  
  
'Why does he want me to wear casual clothing? I thought this should be a working dinner', she thought. 'Well, I'll know in a few hours.'.  
  
B'Elanna wanted her to wear a black sexy dress, but Kathryn thought that would be embarrassing. After almost an hour, they settled for a pair of jeans, (Kathryn's choice) and a sleeve-less shirt with a plunging neckline. (B'Elannas choice.)  
  
'You look great! But I still think those jeans are a little boring. Couldn't you change them for a short skirt or something?'  
  
'No! This is good as it is. I must go now, but don't stay up just to hear "all the facts", some of us needs to get up early tomorrow.'  
  
She winked to B'Elanna before leaving their quarters. She had never been in Chakotay's quarters before, and she felt a little nervous. She tried to calm herself, thinking that they had eaten together before, only then it was in the dining hall. She wondered if he invited her as his first officer or as his friend. She had made some friends aboard The Liberty. B'Elanna, Taia, Taia's roommate Laja, (She still thought that was a little funny, Taia and Laja...) B'Elannas friend Ricky, and she had spoken to lots of other people too, though she didn't count them as friends, not yet. Everyone aboard this ship seemed to be nice and friendly except for one. Kathryn always felt uncomfortable in Seska's company. She seemed to like Chakotay, but he avoided the bajoran as much as he could. Maybe she could ask him about that tonight.  
  
Chakotay were just finished and sat on the couch, waiting for her arrival. He was a little nervous though, what if she didn't like him and just attended this dinner because he was her captain. In that case, she probably felt confused about his request for casual clothing. He wondered what she had chosen to wear. He looked at his own clothing. He wore a white shirt that showed his muscular chest and a pair of jeans. He hoped he didn't look to casual. He didn't really know what to talk about. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her, but he couldn't start with that. She'd go away, probably not wanting to talk with him again. He had to talk about other things, and not ship's business. When he was thinking about subjects to talk about, the doorbell chimed. He went to the door to open it. She took a step back when he opened, probably because he stood so close to her. She wore a pair of black jeans and a matching sleeve-less shirt. He couldn't seem to take his eyes of the plunging neckline. He tried to look somewhere else, not wanting her to be uncomfortable in his company. Though, if she didn't want him to look, then why would she have chosen that shirt? Well, if he knew B'Elanna right, she hadn't...  
  
'Can I come in?'  
  
He realised he had been standing there for almost a minute.  
  
Oh, yes of course, I'm sorry, just come in please, have a seat.'  
  
She looked strange at him, and he cursed himself for acting so weird. Then she walked over his quarters and sat down at the table.  
  
'What is it we need to discuss?'  
  
'It's nothing special, why?'  
  
'Well, you invited me for dinner. There should be something to discuss, why else would you ask me to come here?'  
  
'I just thought we could get to know each other a little better.' He tried to sit down, and tipped over the chair in the process. He raised it again, but plunged his sleeve in a bowl of sauce. She watched him with amusement, which she obviously couldn't hide.  
  
'Are you nervous tonight, or are you always this clumsy?'  
  
'I'm sorry, it's been a long time since I had dinner with a woman so I guess I am a little nervous.'  
  
'Well, I'm not here as a woman, I'm here as your first officer, so I don't see why you're so nervous?'  
  
'Damn it, she's enjoying this. I must seem first class freaky. I've got to get a hold on myself.'  
  
'Tonight you're not here as my first officer. Tonight you're just here as you.'  
  
'Okay. I'll just be me.'  
  
He served them some food, he had made a vegetarian gratin his grandmother used to cook. She ate pieces of it, quite slowly.  
  
'Didn't you like it?'  
  
'I liked it, why shouldn't I?'  
  
'You haven't eaten so much. You've still got half of it left.' She smiled.  
  
'Eating has never been my strong side. It takes a while for me, since I eat very slowly, but this was really good. You haven't been talking too much. Why did you invite me here in the first place?'  
  
He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. This was now or never.  
  
'I've realised that when you're close, I can't concentrate. When I see you, I forget everything else. I'm falling in love with you. I'm sorry, but now it's said anyway.' He looked at her. She seemed stunned, surprised.  
  
'Maybe... I should leave now. But thank you for being so honest with me. I really appreciate that.'  
  
She quickly left his quarters and he was devastated at the thought about how this night had been. It could have been so much better if he had told her in another way. But done is done, and if she could sleep on it, maybe she'd understand in the morning how he felt. Maybe they could forget about all this and just move on. He certainly hoped so.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
When she got back her quarters, she found B'Elanna and Ricky impatiently waiting. They jumped and rushed toward her.  
  
'What happened? Why did he want to see you?'  
  
'Nothing "happened" B'Elanna. You're imagining, as usual.''  
  
'Then why are you home this early? C'mon, it's only been half an hour since you left here. And why would you look like you've met a ghost?'  
  
'Yea.' Ricky Thoran looked concerned. 'We're you're friends, Kath. You can tell us.'  
  
She put her hands in front of her, as if shaking her friends off. This were just to much! She felt like the world just fell down on her, she couldn't manage her nosey friends too! Her position on this ship were probably ruined. He wouldn't want her as his first officer anymore since she couldn't accommodate him. She had started to feel comfortable with being on this ship, found friends, a good posting. She had to admit she felt wrong about the Captain. She tried to avoid him, and she didn't know why he always were looking at her. Now she had her answer. And she didn't like it. So now what? He probably would be furious with her for refusing to do as he says. But she felt so wrong about it. She couldn't be with someone she didn't love, because she wanted to be first officer. That was just ridiculous! She just hoped he wouldn't throw her off the ship.  
  
'Look, something did happen. But I don't think I want to talk about it. It was...surprising, to say the least.'  
  
B'Elanna sat down, motioning for her to do the same. Ricky followed her example.  
  
'Kath, what happened? Chakotay's a great guy, so it can't be that bad. Tell us what it is. Please, we can help you.'  
  
'He, he said...' Kathryn was crying now. 'He said he was...falling in love with me.' She managed to tell them between sobs.  
  
B'Elanna went dead quiet and Ricky looked very uncomfortable. Finally, Kathryn looked up at them.  
  
'Why aren't you saying anything?'  
  
Ricky left the room, and the two women were alone. B'Elanna finally looked at her, tears shining in her dark eyes.  
  
'It's just that I...well since Seska and Chakotay broke up, I've had this stupid hope, that he'd see me. Not just as an engineer or a friend, but as a woman. I wanted him to love me, because I think I love him. But now he loves you, and I'm hopeless again.'  
  
'I don't think you are. Look, Chakotay probably doesn't love me, he just wants someone to ease his burden, to take care of him. I'm sure that if you tell him how you feel, he won't have any interest in me.'  
  
'You don't know Chakotay. He isn't easily charmed. If he say's he loves you, he does. I'm sorry, it's just been this never-ending story for me, trying to get him. I don't even know if I do love him. I've had my eyes on Paris for a while, he seems to be a nice guy and I've forgiven him for betraying us to Starfleet.'  
  
'Oh, so we might have a love couple here soon? I'd love to see that!'  
  
Soon, they were involved in gossip, and Kathryn did everything she could to avoid subject Chakotay. She still was sure he didn't really love her. 


	3. Confrontations

Confrontations  
  
Summary: Why am I writing anything here? If you read this, you should have read the previous parts so...summary is irrelevant.  
  
Disclaimer: Is there any law that say's I have to write here that Paramount owns them all? It's common knowledge.  
  
Author's note: Why am I doing this? Okay, so I like it. This is my philosophy day...  
  
Chapter 1  
  
They were dancing close. Very close. Too close. Kathryn tried to tell herself it didn't matter, but it didn't work. Laja Chrono approached her. She was chuckling lightly.  
  
'Look at Jenny and Chakotay. Poor girl, she doesn't know what she's getting herself into.  
  
'What? What's wrong with him?'  
  
'Nothing wrong. But Jenny Delaney is a seducer. It wont work on him, though. He sees right through her. She should stick to men like Harry Kim.  
  
'Oh no, not Harry. He's so young and innocent. We wouldn't want him corrupted.' Laja shook her head.  
  
'Gotta go. I think I'm turning in early. Bye.'  
  
Kathryn kept watching the closeness of the dancing couple. She didn't really believe Laja's theory. He didn't look like seeing right through her. Suddenly, their eyes met. He held her gaze for a moment, before she turned around and left the room. She just wanted to get away, no matter how much questions she'd get from B'Elanna later. After only a few yards she heard the doors open behind her. She started walking faster, ignoring the person behind her. He gripped her arm and swung her around. It was Chakotay.  
  
'Is something wrong?' His dark eyes looked worried, looking for answers in her face. She avoided his gaze, anxious to get out of there.  
  
'Is this about me and Jenny dancing?' She met his gaze, angry at him for telling her what she didn't want to admit to herself.  
  
'Don't be ridiculous!'  
  
'Am I?' He took a fast grip of her shoulders. 'Where were you going?'  
  
Where were you going?'  
  
'To my quarters.'  
  
'May I join you?'  
  
'B'Elanna will come back later and...'  
  
'She is having a great time, she wont be leaving for a while. I think you and I have to talk about some thing's.'  
  
'All right then. But not too long.'  
  
When they entered Kathryn's and B'Elanna's quarters, Chakotay noticed how small it was. Well, he knew exactly how small it was, but he never stopped wondering how two people could live in a room with less space than the one he had to himself. Kathryn sat down on one of the beds, probably hers. He sat down beside her.  
  
'The first thing I think you should know is that I have a fiancée back on earth. I intend to stay fateful to him.'  
  
He sighed and looked down at his feet. Well, his advantage was that he was with her, that fiancée weren't. On the other hand, it was him she loved. Not Chakotay.  
  
'Well, you're probably not seeing him again, so you shouldn't keep him as a wall against new relationships.' In the moment the words left his mouth, Chakotay knew that was the wrong thing to say. It couldn't have sounded more selfish, cold or stupid. Anger, hurt and despair flashed in her eyes. She rose and started to push him toward the door.  
  
'If you're going to demote me for not accommodating you, be my guest, but don't you dare approach me personally again.' The door slammed shut in front of him. He turned around to see a speechless B'Elanna.  
  
'What was that all about?' He sighed.  
  
'Maybe we should take a walk.'  
  
'So you really love her?'  
  
'Yes. It was so stupid, that thing I said. She probably wont look at me again. I don't know what to do. I don't like my feelings flying away like this.'  
  
'Look. Probably her feelings are in turmoil right now. She reacted the way she did because you said what she couldn't admit to herself. After a while, she'll accept the facts of probably not seeing him again. Then she'll open up to a new relationship.'  
  
'If she does, it wont be me.'  
  
'You never know. I can talk to her if you'd like. I mean, not like saying your words, but as a friend. She needs one now, and so do you. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, and I'll make her see that too.'  
  
'Thank you B'El. It's very kind of you. I'll see you in the morning.'  
  
B'Elanna went back to her quarters. When she stepped in, Kathryn looked completely unaffected, or she were just good at hiding her feelings.  
  
'Hi B'El. Did you have a good time at the party?'  
  
'Look, I talked to Chakotay. I know what he said to you and it was damned stupid! But he didn't mean it. He really loves you, Kath.'  
  
'How can he love me, he barely knows me!'  
  
'You've been working together for four months now. You've concentrated on work, but he's been watching you a lot. He knows you more than you think.'  
  
'What he said...it really hurt me. If he loves me, then why would he say something like that. It sounded completely heartless.'  
  
'He told me how sorry he is and he doesn't know why he said those things. I just think you should give him a chance. Please.'  
  
'Okay. I'll try. Goodnight.'  
  
Chakotay weren't sure whether she'd come to the bridge or not. He really hurt her yesterday. Why couldn't he stop saying stupid things? When they had detected an M-class planet, he decided to be on the awayteam. Maybe he could fill his mind with something useful. Suddenly, his first officer got on the bridge. Without giving him a look, she went to stand beside him. Chakotay decided to call a staffmeeting in a room which could be used as a meeting-room, but it was really too small. When all his "senior officers" were assembled, Chakotay spoke.  
  
'Sensors have detected an M-class planet not far away. I will take an awayteam and go down to collect some supplies. Mr. Thoran and Ms. Stadi, you're with me.'  
  
He quickly left the room and left everyone quite surprised. Chakotay always waited for objections before he left, but no one had even had a chance to open their mouths. They shrugged their shoulders and went back to the bridge. Ricky and Taia went to prepare for their mission. When the small shuttlecraft, left Voyager everyone was a bit worried. All their shuttlecrafts had been designed and built by Tom Paris. He had some help. but he did a lot of work. No one really trusted those shuttles as much as they'd have done if they were built on earth by Starfleet engineers. But the maquis crew trusted Kathryn enough now, so there were no problem for her to be acting captain of Liberty.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Chakotay and his group had been collecting supplies without any problems so far. They had detected no lifesigns on the planet, which was strange since the atmosphere was good, and the planet had a lot of supplies. It didn't matter to Chakotay though, it meant more food for them. After a while Ricky looked at him.  
  
'Maybe we should try to find another place to look. All we have found this far is this thing called...Leola root. After earlier experience, it's not the crew's first choice of dinner. If we could find something else too, maybe we could avoid mutiny and execution.'  
  
Chakotay grinned and then shot a glance at Taia Stadi. She was very quiet and shy to him and the other maquis, but she seemed to interact well with the Starfleet crew. He couldn't understand why, and it angered him sometimes. But she had to be able to choose her own friends. Some time ago, he had promoted her to one of the pilots. She seemed very happy about that. He called for her to follow and they started to walk over a hill to find other things to eat. Suddenly some armed soldiers showed up in front of them. They turned around, but the soldiers were all around them. There were nowhere to run.  
  
~On Liberty~  
  
Kathryn were worried about the awayteam. They hadn't reported back for a day, and it wasn't even supposed to last for a whole day. They had tried to hail the shuttle, but they got no response. She decided to send a new awayteam to look for them. She had a strange feeling about this.  
  
'Commander, awayteam 2 is reporting back.'  
  
'On screen.'  
  
Ayalas face appeared on the screen.  
  
'I'm sorry, but we couldn't find them. They seem to be gone.'  
  
Kathryn sighed and closed her eyes. This was going to be a long search.  
  
~Awayteam~  
  
The door opened and there was light. Chakotay were immediately on his feet. So were Ricky and Taia. A big man with ugly spots on his face stepped in.  
  
'Who will I negotiate?'  
  
'I'm the senior officer, you'll talk to me.' Chakotay said.  
  
'Very well. Follow me, this way.'  
  
The guards pointed at him with their weapons and motioned for him to follow. They walked through several corridors and Chakotay tried not to think about the horrible smell. The...well, aliens didn't seem to mind, though. The corridors were rather dark, only a few torches were hanging on the wall. Finally they entered a large room and the smell weren't so intense anymore. The leader sat down and asked him to do the same. He sat down, a little unsettled because of the guards who had their guns constantly pointed at him.  
  
'So you are the leader of this people?'  
  
'Yes, I am. And I suppose you are the leader of yours?' The alien laughed.  
  
'I am merely the boss of this prison. Now, I ask the questions. Are this two people the only ones you're the leader of?'  
  
'Yes.' In the moment he spoke the word he felt a nauseous feeling coming over him and the chair started to shake. He tried to rise, but found he couldn't. The alien prison-boss smiled.  
  
'If you only speak the truth from now, we won't have anymore of that. Would you like a caramel?' Chakotay meant to say no, but something in the aliens eyes forced him to take one. The boss leaned back in his chair and watched him.  
  
'Now, I ask you again. Are there anymore of you're people here?'  
  
'Yes. They're in the orbit with our ship.' He cursed himself for telling the alien, but something seemed to control him, and he had a bad feeling that the prison-boss already knew everything he said.'  
  
'The other two will be allowed to leave, so they can tell your ship to leave our orbit immediately. You will stay here.' Chakotay nodded. If Taia and Ricky were released, his freedom would be a small price to pay.  
  
~On Liberty~  
  
B'Elanna and Laja were going to the bridge.  
  
'I've heard that Seska is saying to everyone that Kathryn won't save them, cause she wants to be captain.' B'Elannas head snapped up.  
  
'No one believes that, do they?'  
  
'No, I don't think that will be a problem. Everyone knows she'd never do something like that. I just can't understand why she says that. Do you have any idea?'  
  
'Chakotay loves her.'  
  
'What?! Who?! Seska?!'  
  
'No, Kathryn of course, you dumb-ass. And Seska is jealous. I guess that's why.'  
  
'Let's hope no one actually believes that. Do you think we should tell her?  
  
'No. She's got enough problems as it is. Hopefully, this won't evolve anymore than Seska being stupid and humiliated.'  
  
~Awayteam~  
  
The door opened and Ricky thought Chakotay would return. But instead, a guard approached them.  
  
'You will be released. Come with me and you can return to your ship.'  
  
'What about Chakotay?'  
  
'Your leader will stay here. You will go back to your ship and then leave orbit.'  
  
'We might as well go back to the ship. We have a bigger chance of saving Chakotay then.' Ricky thought. They followed the guards outside, then returned to the shuttle.  
  
~Chakotay~  
  
He looked around the room. A voice spoke to him. He looked around, but couldn't find any loud-speaker.  
  
'Welcome Chakotay. If you need anything, just push the red button beside your bed. You will find we treat our guests very well. You've got a wardrobe with clothes. You can now get familiar with your room. We will come and get you when it's time.'  
  
Chakotay frowned. What did that mean? Time for what? Suddenly a fatigue came over him and he settled down on the bed before falling asleep.  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
~Liberty~  
  
'Commander, a shuttle is hailing us!'  
  
'On screen!' Ricky and Taia appeared on the screen.  
  
'The captain is still down there, in one of their prisons!'  
  
'Who's prisons? I thought there were no people living there.'  
  
'Well, there were. We've got to save Chakotay. But I don't know how. From what I can tell, there were very many people living there. They could definitely beat our crew in a fight.'  
  
'So we can't solve it with weapons. We have to make up a plan.'  
  
'What do you know about these prisons?'  
  
'Well, I think that there purpose is science. They work with genetics and need test-subjects.' Taia said.  
  
'And they will use Chakotay as one. Anybody thinking of an idea?' The room remained quiet until Tuvok spoke up.  
  
'If someone could enter the...lab, maybe that person could have a small node under the skin which could be used to beam up.' (Authors note: Didn't Kathryn have one of those in "Sacred ground"?)  
  
'That is a good idea.' (Why didn't anyone else think of that, it's quite obvious, don't you think?)  
  
'But who would go?' B'Elanna intervened. Kathryn looked at her and Tuvok.  
  
'B'Elanna, Tuvok. Do you think you could manage being in charge of this ship?' B'Elanna opened her mouth to say something, but Tuvok silenced her with a kiss...uh, I mean a look.  
  
'We would. Are you saying you will be going?'  
  
'I could not order anyone to go away on this mission. This is something I have to do myself. I will go away as soon as possible.'  
  
Kathryn left the room, and went to prepare for the mission.  
  
Author's note: I'm sorry, I know this was supposed to be a J/C story, but I fell in love with writing about that prison. I write faster with feedback so pliiiizzzz give me some... : ) 


	4. Finding Chakotay

Finding Chakotay  
  
Summary: A hint: Look at the other chapters before you read this one.  
  
Disclaimer: Here we go again...  
  
Authors note: Please don't kill me when I make mistakes, english isn't my mother tongue.  
  
~Liberty~  
  
B'Elanna was pacing the room while Kathryn prepared for the awaymission, or rather Tom prepared her by putting in the small device (okay, I don't know what it's called) under her skin so she could beam back with Chakotay. B'Elanna thought it would be to dangerous and they should find another way. Not that she didn't want Chakotay back, but she were sure the plan would fail and they would have two people stuck in the prison. The aliens would immediately detect the beam-back-node and take it out. Then Kathryn would be a prisoner there too, and they would have to make up a new plan. This plan sucked, and B'Elanna wondered why no one could see it.  
  
'All set and ready commander.'  
  
'Thanks Tom. I hope I can get him back now. If I don't, we're pretty much out of options.'  
  
B'Elanna stayed quiet as they walked toward the transporter room. She had voiced her opinions to Tuvok earlier and he just told her that if she couldn't make up a better plan, they'd stick to the one they had. B'Elanna didn't like Tuvok. Except for the captain and first officer, Liberty didn't have any rank systems. If both Chakotay and Kathryn died, B'Elanna and Tuvok would both captain the ship since they were the most qualified. (Not that I think either would make a good captain, but I think it would be fun. Just imagine how much they'd argue about command decisions...) Therefore, Tuvok could not give her orders, but she felt like he thought he was outranking her. And there was nothing she could do about it.  
  
~Chakotay~  
  
He woke up and felt well rested. He rose from the bed and checked the wardrobe. He had a lot of clothes there. He looked around the room. It was big, with white wallpapers, floor and roof. When he looked around, he realised everything was white. It seemed very clean, somehow. The door looked robust and solid. In a corner stood a couch with a small table in front of it. The only thing that he felt uncomfortable with, was that there were no windows. He saw another door, which looked less prison-like and noticed it led to a bathroom. He decided to take a shower. The water was hot, but not too hot. After the shower, he dressed in a white set of clothes from the wardrobe. When he were finished with everything, he didn't know what to do. He pressed the red button, to get some answers. A young woman entered the room with a false smile on her face.  
  
'Hello and welcome. How can I help you?'  
  
'What am I doing here? What do you want from me?'  
  
'Don't worry about that. It's nice weather outside, would you like to take a walk in the garden?'  
  
'All right.' He'd do anything to get out of this room. He followed the woman through the same grey corridors until they came to a door. He were surprised when he noticed how beautiful it was. The environment on the planet before had not been this green. The garden was...perfect. He strolled around, admiring the beautiful trees and flowers. The grass was perfectly green and shimmering like emeralds. But behind all the beauty it looked plastic somehow. Chakotay looked around him, and realised there were no one else there. The young woman were standing at the door, waiting for him. He wouldn't hurry. He walked a bit and realised something odd. The garden weren't so perfect anymore. The trees were older there, and didn't have the perfection of the other trees. Chakotay thought they were ugly. He didn't like the old trees, he preferred the pretty ones. But suddenly he remembered the old trees at his home. He had never found them ugly. He had always liked old trees. He saw a man, about his age, sitting on a bench. He greeted the man and when he looked up, the strange look in his eyes made Chakotay step back. The man looked almost hypnotised.  
  
'We are happy here.' He said, like reading out of a book. Then he left leaving a perplexed Chakotay.  
  
Chakotay strolled further into the gardens, but it went darker. He looked up at the sky, but it had not changed. It was something else, something he couldn't describe, but the air went chilly and he wanted to cover himself up. And not just against the cold. There were something else, something dangerous in the air, but he couldn't bring himself to turn around. Suddenly he saw trees again. But these trees weren't beautiful, neither in the perfected way or in the way of old trees. They were black, dead and looked like taken straight out of a horror movie. He saw dark forms hanging from the trees, and he turned to leave when he heard a horrible scream of agony from somewhere near him. A woman, not much different from the other one, except she didn't smile approached him quickly.  
  
'You're not supposed to be here. Leave, and return to the gardens.' Now, he detected the blood stains on her clothing and quickly left the place. He didn't want to know more about the place. When he were back in the beautiful gardens, the young woman who brought him there were still standing in the same position. He sat down, just watched the beauty. The terrifying place he'd just been to was already escaping his mind, not supposed to be there. He could be happy here. Yes, he could.  
  
~Kathryn~  
  
She had beamed down at a safe distance and now walked toward the prison/laboratory. Taia and Ricky had been able to tell her how to find her way. She were going to say she wanted to voluntarily let them use her as a test subject or whatever they wanted to call it. She kept walking through the rocky landscape and started to wonder if she had taken the wrong path, when she suddenly saw the large building in front of her. She weren't sure of how to proceed, but knocked the door. She were surprised when a guard opened.  
  
'Who are you, and why are you here?'  
  
'I volunteer to be a test subject here. So I can help society. I don't have any great goals in my life, so I could as well help others.' The guard looked perplexed.  
  
'Volunteer...? Well, come with me then.' They walked through grey corridors...(well pretty much the same Chakotay went through) until they came to a room. The guard said something to a man and then left. The alien man broke into a smile.  
  
'Oh how nice! So you want to stay here? Come on, I'll show you to your room. We treat our guests very well.' Kathryn followed the man until they came to a room that looked exactly like Chakotay's. (She didn't know that though.) The door locked behind her and she wondered how she'd get to Chakotay from here. She saw a red button over the bed and decided to push it. It wouldn't do any harm, then it wouldn't be there, she thought. After only a few seconds, a young woman appeared in the doorway.  
  
'Hello and welcome. Would you like to take a walk in the garden? It's very pretty.'  
  
'Yes please.' Kathryn followed the woman for a few minutes and then she were let out in a beautiful garden. She saw someone sitting in the grass, probably sunbathing and went to talk to him.  
  
Chakotay really enjoyed the sunlight. He felt at home with all the flowers and trees, that's why he liked the garden so much. Like in a fog, he saw a woman approach him. It was something familiar with her, but he couldn't remember who she were. It didn't matter. He enjoyed it here, why would he want to see someone from The Life Before? He turned his head back to the sunlight and pretended not to see her.  
  
'Chakotay! Are you okay?' He looked at the woman. She knew his name, so she had to be someone he knew. Not that it mattered. He just nodded his head slightly and turned back to the sun.  
  
Kathryn didn't understand. He were so changed, he didn't seem to care if he could be rescued or not. Maybe something here affected him to be like this. She had to get him out.  
  
'Chakotay, we have to move a bit. I can get us out, but we have to hurry. Come on!' He reluctantly followed her to the place with the old trees. There she hit the node and the tingling beam of the transporter made them disappear.  
  
~Liberty~  
  
'I'm beaming them out now' Harry Kim's fingers flew over his panel. The relief in his face soon changed into despair.  
  
'Sir, I...I don't know what happened but...they disappeared.'  
  
'That's ridiculous, they can't just be gone.' B'Elanna snapped, but she looked at the console and she had to agree. They weren't there anymore.  
  
'They have to be down on that planet somewhere, we just have to look. Someone inform Tuvok. Not you Harry.' She said as the young man moved toward the door. He always tried to do everything. He probably wanted to be appreciated by everyone. Or he wanted to get away from her temper.  
  
~On the planet~  
  
Kathryn looked around. They were no longer at the science lab, but they were certainly not on Liberty. She looked at Chakotay. He were walking with certainty over the fields. She ran to catch up on him.  
  
'Where are you going?'  
  
'Have to get back.' He mumbled.  
  
'To the lab? Are you crazy?'  
  
They kept walking, Kathryn tried to make Chakotay stop and turn around but he was determined to get back. Somehow he seemed to know what way to go. After a while Kathryn fell down in a ditch. She screamed as a sudden pain stung her bare ankle. She looked down and saw a yellow lizard quickly crawling away.  
  
Chakotay looked back. Suddenly memories came over him. He had been taken prisoner by an alien race. Kathryn came to get him. Why had he been acting so strange? Now something had happened to her and it was his fault. He sat down to examine the wound. Something seemed to be spreading itself through her foot. He remembered something his father had told him. If someone got poisoned, you can suck the poison out of the wound. He didn't hesitate, and did so. He quickly spit it out but she were still unconscious. Chakotay lifted her up and started to walk away from the lab. After a while of walking he saw a cave. He decided they could stay there until they could get back to the ship. Suddenly he remembered Kathryn hit her arm and tried to beam out. Maybe he could hit it again and beam back. He found the right spot on her arm and hit it.  
  
~Liberty~  
  
'Sir, I'm getting some kind of signal from the surface.'  
  
'Please elaborate. Which kind of signal?'  
  
'I...I think it's them sir.'  
  
'Can you locate the signal?'  
  
'Well, it's somewhere close to the science lab, I can't tell you more. Sir, shouldn't we take a shuttle and try to find them.'  
  
'Yes, we will. Prepare a shuttle. I will go and bring Ms. Stadi and Mr. Thoran. They have been on this planet before, they can make sure we won't get too close to the lab.' A/N Um maybe you wonder why this took so long for me to write, but my interest for Star trek has died (or something) This chapter was half- written, so I posted it anyway. If anyone is interested in continuing this story, write me at mistress_of_evil_cliffhangers@hotmail.com  
  
//Natta 


End file.
